Be Healthy!
My name is Amber. I am twenty years old. My heart is taken by two amazing men. One being my fiance, and the other being my soon to be step-son. They are my inspiration and world.
One year ago I started my journey at 210. I dropped down to 185. Then with a lot of stress and new location, my achievements were all for nothing. I gained all the weight back and feel worse then ever. I have no energy and no motivation. However I am going to try again.
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I know it’s been a long time. I haven’t been working out or eating properly, but I’ve managed to go from a size 14 to a size 12 again. Yay?

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.

She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner.
You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”

Why do we constantly do this to our children? /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

This This This This This This This

(via takingchancestomakeachange)

Just weighed myself last night at work. I’m down to 193.6!

I’ve also been very stressed and hardly eating just about nothing, so I don’t feel too accomplished because it wasn’t through hard work that I lost the weight. It was simply from the lack of eating because of being depressed.

get-up-n-go:

be-healfit:

I wrote this article on my blog, but thought it could be great to share it on Tumblr with all of you. So here it is : a HUGE list of 100% healthy smoothies! I hope it will be useful ;) 
Almond

Almond and Orange Smoothie
Elvis Smoothie
Cherry Almond Smoothie
Spiced-Banana Almond Smoothie
Almond Milk and Berry Smoothie
Healthy Almond Butter Smoothie
Apple 


Apple and bananas Smoothie
Carrot-Apple-Ginger Smoothie
Apple-Avocado-Banana-Grape Smoothie
Red Apple Smoothie
Spiced Apple Pie Smoothie (vegan, gluten free)
Apple-Oatmeal-Peanut Butter-Cinnamon Smoothie
Apple Pie in the Sky Smoothie
Apple-Avocado and Mint Smoothie

Apricots


Simple Apricot Smoothie
5 Apricots Smoothies
Apricot-Banana Smoothie
Apricot Peach Smoothie
Apricot Mango Smoothie
Oats and Apricots Smoothie
Apricot Apple Smoothie
Avocado 


Quick Avocado Smoothie
Avocado Blueberry Smoothie
Strawberry Avocado Smoothie
Avocado Banana Kiwi Kale Smoothie
Avocado Mango Smoothie
Avocado Pear Smoothie
Strawberry Avocado Coconut Smoothie
Chocolate Avocado Smoothie
Bananas
Bananas and Peanut Butter Smoothie
Bananas and Kiwi Smoothie
Bananas, strawberries and Flax Smoothie
Bananas and pears Smoothie
Bananas and Mango Shake
Bananas and peach Smoothie
Groovy Smoothie
Banana Blast II
Bananas and Orange Smoothie
Tropical Cooler Smoothie
Carribbean Health Drink
Blueberry 

Wild blueberry Soy Shake
Heavenly Blueberry Smoothie
Very Berry Blueberry Smoothie
Razzy Blue Smoothie
Lemon Berry Smoothie
Blueberry Mint Smoothie
Celery 

Celery Cilantro Smoothie
Celery and Apple Berry Delight
Banana Celery Smoothie
Carrot Celery Orange Ginger Juice
Mango Banana Pineapple Spinach Celery Smoothie
Celery Cucumber and Ginger Smoothie

Cherry 

Cherry-Bananas Smoothie
Cherry Vanilla Almond Smoothie
Cherry Soy Yogurt Smoothie
Cherry Peach Smoothie
Cherry Vanilla Bean Oatmeal Smoothie
Lush Cherry Coconut Smoothie

Chocolate 


Chocolate, Strawberry, Banana Milkshake
Orange Chocolate Breakfast Drink
6 Chocolate Smoothies Recipes
Chocolate Peanut Butter Monster Smoothie
Ultra-Chocolate Smoothie 
Healthy Chocolate Banana Shake
Cinnamon 


Cinnamon Acai Smoothie
Orange Cinnamon Smoothie
Bapple Cinnamon Smoothie
Cranberry Vanilla Cinnamon Smoothie
Wake Up Smoothie
Apple, Peanut Butter, Cinnamon, Oatmeal Smoothie

Citrus 

Citrus Energy-Boosting Smoothie
The Ultimate Citrus Smoothie
Citrus and Spice Smoothie (vegan and Gluten free)
Citrus Berry Smoothie
Healthy Citrus Spinach Smoothie
Tropical MangoCitrus Smoothie
Coconut 

Coconut and Banana Smoothie
5 Minute Vegan Breakfast Smoothie
Coconut Almond Smoothie
Strawberry Coconut Smoothie
Coconut Avocado Smoothie
Key Lime Coconut Smoothie
Coconut Vanilla Almond Butter Smoothie
Creamy Coconut Date Shake (vegan)

Cranberry 

Cranberry-Orange Power Smoothie
Cranberry Smoothie
Cranberry Coconut Smoothie
Cranberry Apple Smoothie
Cranberry Vanilla Cinnamon Smoothie
Cranberry Green Tea Smoothie
Cranberry and Raspberry Smoothie

Fig 

Fig and bananas Smoothie
Mango Banana Figs Smoothie
Vanilla Fig Smoothie
Figs Almonds and Banana Smoothie
Fig Blueberry Not so Green Green Smoothie
Fig, Oats and Banana Smoothie
Ginger 


Ginger Berry Smoothie
Oranginger Smoothie
Banana Ginger Energy Smoothie
Mango Ginger Strawberry Smoothie
Kale Ginger Smoothie
Green Ginger Apple Smoothie

Grapefruit 

Fresh Grapefruit Juice Smoothie
5 Grapefruits Smoothie Recipes
Strawberry Grapefruit Smoothie
Kiwi Basil Grapefruit Anti-inflammatory Smoothie

Kale 

Kale and Banana Smoothie
Kale, Orange, Banana Smoothie
Hala Kahiki Green Smoothie
Kale Spinach and Pear Smoothie
Blueberry Kale Smoothie
Kale Sunrise Green Smoothie
Peacock Kale Smoothie
Kale Banana Chia Superfood Smoothie
Pineapple Mint green Smoothie
Kiwi 


Kinaja Smoothie
Kiwinaberry Cream Smoothie
Kiwi Sensation
Sour Smoothie
Kiwi Pineapple Smoothie
Mango Kiwi Peach Spinach Smoothie
Kiwi Fruit, Ginger, Banana Smoothie

Mango 


Gloomy Day Smoothie
Mango Pineapple Green Smoothie
Mango Peach Smoothie
Pawpaw and Mango Punch
Basil Strawberry Mango Smoothie
Honey Mango Juice
Mango Mint Lassi with Indian Sweet Spices Smoothie
Melon 

Melon Blackberry Smoothie
Melon Lime Cooler
Cantaloupe Yogurt Smoothie
Melon Strawberry Smoothie
Triple Melon Smoothie

Mint 

Thin Mint Green Monster
Banana Mint Slush
Strawberry Mint Green Smoothie
Healthy Choc-Mint Smoothie
Cucumber Apple and Mint Cooler 

Nectarine 


Nectarine Sunshine Smoothie
Cinnamon Nectarine Smoothie
Apple Nectarine Smoothie
Lime Mango and Nectarine Smoothie
Blueberry Nectarine Smoothie
Oatmeal 

Spiced Oatmeal Smoothie
Blueberry Mapple Smoothie
Strawberry Oatmeal Chia Smoothie
Mocha Banana Breakfast Smoothie
Pomegranate Blueberry Oatmeal Smoothie
Ginger Berries and Oats Smoothie

Orange 

Orange Glorious
Orange Snowman
Janie’s Amazing Smoothie
Tropical Pineapple Mango and Orange Smoothie
Orange Push Up Smoothie (vegan, gluten free)
Peach Orange Smoothie

Papaya 


Papaya Surprise Smoothie
Supergirl Summer Smoothie
Banana Papaya and Spinach Smoothie
Papaya Ginger Smoothie
Papaya Ginger Mint Smoothie
Raspberry Papaya Smoothie
Peach 


Peach and Banana Smoothie
Strawberry Peach Smoothie
Ginger Peach Smoothie
Cherry Peach Smoothie
Peach Green Smoothie
Honeyed Peach and Dates Smoothie

Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Smoothie
Green Banana and Peanut Butter Smoothie
Dairy-Free Peanut Butter and Banana Smoothie
Peanut Butter and Strawberry Smoothie
Peanut Butter Berry Smoothie
15 Healthy Peanut Butter Smoothie Recipes
Pear 


Cinnapear Smoothie
Pear-fect Smoothie
Spinach Pear Ginger Green Smoothie
Pear Ginger Cinnamon Oat Smoothie
Sweet Pear Green Smoothie

Pineapple

C-Blast Smoothie
Pineapple and Banana Smoothie
Pineapple Mango Smoothie
Pineapple Sunrise Smoothie
Tropical Tea Smoothie
Strawberry Pineapple Coconut Smoothie
Pumpkin 

Apple Pie Smoothie
Pumpkin Spice Protein Drink
Pumpkin Peanut Butter Smoothie
Healthy Pumpkin Smoothie
Pumpkin Spice Smoothie
Pumpkin Banana Vanilla Smoothie

Raspberry 

Raspberry and Blackberry Smoothie
Raspberry Fudge Smoothie
Raspberry Mango Smoothie
Orange Raspberry Banana Chia Smoothie
Blushing Apple Smoothie
Berry Kale Smoothie
Rhubarb 


Rosy Rhubarb Smoothie
5 Rhubarb Smoothie Recipes you’ll want to try
Rhubarb Strawberry Smoothie 
Rhubarb Green Smoothie
Berry Rhubarb Smoothie


Spinach 

Spinach and Strawberry Smoothie
Spinach and Kale Smoothie
Green Slime Smoothie
Green Monster Smoothie
Kid Approved Green Smoothie
Strawberry



Strawberry and beet Smoothie
Strawberry-yoghurt Smoothie
Strawberry Oatmeal Breakfast Smoothie
Cool-Off Smoothie
Red, White and Blue Fruit Smoothie
Strawberry, Orange, Banana Smoothie
Quick Start Breakfast Drink
Strawberry-Grapefruit Smoothie
Sweet Potato 


Sweet Potato and Banana Smoothie
Better than Ice Cream Sweet Potato Smoothie
Sweet Potato Pie Smoothie
Luscious Sweet Potato and Almond Smoothie
Refreshing Sweet Potato and Peach Smoothie
Tofu 


Tofuberry Smoothie
Raspberry, Banana, Tofu Shake
Vegan Vanilla Milkshake Smoothie
Blueberry Power Smoothie
Banana Cocoa Soy Smoothie

Watermelon 


Watermelon Bliss Smoothie
Watermelon with a Hint of Mint
Pink Watermelon Smoothie
Watermelon Kiwi Smoothie
Watermelon Yogurt Mint Smoothie


this is beautiful